An unused section from my book

It had been quite some time since Alex had set eyes on Susan.  Every morning when he awoke from an unsettled sleep; he immediately checked his mobile phone in the hope of a text message from the object of his affections.  Unfortunately for Alex, there were no messages and every morning was a further let down.  On his arrival at work, Alex knew that his only other chance was to receive a parcel for her so that he could have a valid reason to be standing on her doorstep; and again there was no parcel.  Alex stood in the cold yard with a feeling of disappointment running throughout his entire being.  He felt lost, confused and deeply depressed as he felt his heart getting weaker and weaker.  The sensation that he was feeling was equal to the loss of a family member or close friend.  As he tried to analyse his feelings, he knew that they were in no way rational nor logical but couldn't drag himself out of the pit of despair that he felt submerged in.  To Alex, Susan represented hope in his life........something that he had not felt in quite some time.  Without that hope Alex just wanted to lie down and sleep, feeling weak and incapable of motivating himself.  Alex's friends could not understand why he seemed so low and withdrawn; when they attempted to talk to him, he refused to disclose his reasons why.  As Alex struggled to complete his daily tasks, driving from one delivery point to another, his day seemed to last forever.  On the approach to Susan's street, Alex felt a terrible feeling of dread in his stomach as he knew that he wouldn't be able to see her or talk to her.  As his van slowly turned the corner, Alex tried to fixate his vision on the other houses in her street knowing that he had a task to complete within a stone's throw from Susan's house.  As Alex stood on her neighbours doorstep, he couldn't help himself from looking in the direction of Susan's house causing himself more distress.  Alex dragged himself back into his vehicle and then turned and drove back down past Susan's home and then out onto the main road.  As he moved further and further away from Susan; he felt on the verge of tears and his heart felt like it was breaking in two.  Alex felt breathless as he tried to regain control of his emotions.  How could any woman ever cause him to feel so weak and helpless, feeling as if he were a puppet who's strings had been severed by the absence of the one that he loves.  'Where has she gone, why has she stopped contacting me, is it because I have come on too strong and perhaps have scared her away?'  Alex continued the rest of the day to ponder the silence of his missing love.  As each day passed, Alex suffered in silence as he stopped shaving and let his overall appearance slip away into a shadow of his previous self.  He found himself skipping meals and losing the ability to converse with the people who knew him well.  Alex was a mess! 

A piece of Artwork inspired by my book called 'The Cowshed'

A Symphony of Sorrow - Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Closing a door to the past

Susan opened her eyes; her head resting on Alex’s warm bare chest; her left arm stretched over his stomach as if she didn’t want to let go him.  Susan began to stroke Alex’s thick chest hair with her left hand.  ‘Enjoying yourself?’ Alex said in a funny manner.  Susan started to giggle saying ‘I’m amazed at how much hair you have on your chest; are you sure you’re human?’  Alex laughed out loud and said ‘Don’t mince your words cheeky!’  Susan laughed and blushed then said ‘I wasn’t insulting you, I was just saying!’  Alex giggled with Susan and then he turned onto his side and started to tickle her, grabbing her feet and making her squeal, screaming ‘Stop it……stop!’  Suddenly Alex and Susan could hear Aimee’s voice ‘Mummy what are you doing in there?  Susan burst out laughing and then said ‘Mummy’s just talking to Alex; he’s making me laugh!’  Alex hid his head under the pillow trying to cover up his laughing making Susan slap him on the back.  Susan got out of bed and started to look for her bathrobe while Alex lifted the pillow from his face watched Susan rush naked around the room.  Alex couldn’t keep his eyes off her saying ‘Who needs a coffee to perk you up in the morning?’  Susan laughs and says ‘You’re a cheeky git!’  Alex props the pillow up behind his back and says ‘Maybe you should stay like that all day!’  Susan lifts his underwear and throws them onto his face saying ‘That’ll shut you up!’  Susan locates her bathrobe, slips it on and then leaves the room to see to Aimee.  Alex flips the duvet to the side and then swings his legs out onto the floor as he rises to his feet.  After putting on his bathrobe, he stands by the window looking out onto the quiet street.  Susan comes rushing back in again saying ‘Do you want to have a shower Alex?’  Alex turns and says ‘I would love one; it’s been a long time since someone soaped my back for me!’  Susan slaps him again and then goes to move as he pulls her back by the hand so that he can kiss her passionately on the lips.  Susan puts up virtually no fight before kissing him back grabbing at his strong arms ‘Oh god, we can’t as much as I really want to!’  Alex smiles and then says ‘I know, but it doesn’t stop me wanting to kiss the woman I love, I’m off for a cold shower!’  Susan gazes at Alex as he leaves the room, whistling as he walks across the landing.  Susan stands for a moment holding her chest as if she is trying to calm her heart.  Susan cannot contain herself once more as she sits on the end of the bed and cries with happiness realising that she feels like a woman again.  Alex stands under the water in the shower cubicle as the warm liquid rolls softly over his hair and skin.  Alex spends a few minutes in the shower and then gets out onto a bath mat as he starts to dry himself.  Whilst drying off, Alex catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror and notices that his muscle definition has improved in both size and shape.  Alex bends his left arm to tighten his bicep and cannot believe how tight his arms have become.  Alex is amazed; he realizes that there have been quite a few changes and wonders what he will discover next.  Susan knocks the door saying ‘Are you ok Alex?’  Alex turns and then walks to the door; opening it so that he can see Susan ‘I’m fine, just noticing more weird things such as my arms look like I’ve traded mine for a wrestlers!’  Susan looks at his arms and grips them with her hands ‘You’re right, I don’t remember them being that size last night; do you think it’s anything to worry about?’  Susan looks concerned.  Alex then touches her face with his hand ‘Not at all, if anything it has to be an improvement; as long as they don’t get much bigger or there won’t be any room in the house for you or Aimee!’  Susan hugs Alex and says ‘Along as you’re sure, promise me you’ll always be honest with me!’  Alex squeezes Susan and replies ‘I’ll never lie to you, you deserve better than that!’

A Symphony of Sorrow - Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – A passionate time

It is 8.41pm and Alex, Susan and Aimee are watching Aimee’s favourite animated movie on the living room television. It has been a long day and Aimee starts to drift off which pleases Susan greatly as she has now had to watch the same movie hundreds of times knowing the entire film word for word. Susan looks at Alex and points at Aimee who is sat between them both on the three seater sofa lying slightly to the right so that she can rest her head on her mums chest. Alex looks at Aimee and smiles as he whispers to Susan ‘no wonder she’s wrecked being trailed around the shops with us all day!’ Susan nods and whispers ‘I’m actually surprised she lasted this long, I think she’s been over excited all day; I better get her up to bed!’ Susan gently lifts Aimee’s head from her chest and then picks her up in her arms and then carries her up to bed. Alex can hear Susan moving around upstairs as she puts Aimee into bed and tucks her in; he quickly notices that his hearing is so focused now that he might as well be in the room with the girls as he can hear every breathe from Susan’s mouth. Susan returns to the living room as Alex turns to greet her as she enters the room. Susan smiles at Alex and says ‘Hi!’ Alex smiles back and says ‘Hey!’ Susan dims the lights and then walks slowly towards Alex as he is sat forward on the edge of the sofa. Susan lifts a remote control from the tiny pine table next to Alex and then points it towards the stereo switching it on. Within seconds the soulful sound of Otis Redding’s ‘These arms of mine,’ flows from the speakers into the room. Susan turns and now stands before Alex; he looks up at her working his eyes up her legs onto her waist and then up to her eyes. Susan is wearing tight blue jeans and a tight white t-shirt. Susan has a cheeky smile on her face, her eyes look like she wants to eat him alive; she pushes Alex back onto the sofa and then climbs on top of him as she straddles him. Alex gasps as he falls back placing his hands onto Susan’s waist. Susan leans into him placing her soft lips onto his kissing him passionately as her tongue probes deep into his mouth. Alex kisses Susan back, the deep sound of them both drawing air in through their noses. Susan reaches her hands down to her sides as she peels Alex’s hands from her waist and then pushes his hands up behind his head onto the back of the sofa; pinning him. Alex giggles as Susan kisses him harder and he is in heaven. Susan then works her lips down onto Alex’s neck as she kisses and nibbles sending him into ecstasy. Alex as he struggles to speak ‘Christ almighty Susan, I think you’re trying to tell me something!’ Susan giggles and says through a panting tone ‘Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to have you where I want you?’ Alex looking slightly stunned ‘An educated guess would lead me to believe that it’s been quite some time!’ Susan quickly reaches down grabbing the edge of Alex’s tight black t-shirt and then rips it up over his head exposing his toned swarthy body. Alex gasps and then with no effort flips Susan over onto the sofa as he rises to his feet and quickly unbuttons her tight jeans as he pulls them off her body exposing her legs and underwear. Alex leans into Susan kissing her as she unbuttons his jeans pulling them to the floor as he steps out of them. Alex then pulls Susan’s tight white t-shirt up over her head and then lies done onto the sofa on top of her. Both Alex and Susan feel in heaven as then touch every inch of each other’s bodies in an act of love and discovery. Susan slips her thumbs into Alex’s tight underwear peeling them down from his hips as he opened her bra lifting it away from her breasts. Alex starts to kiss her breasts as gently nibbles her nipples sending her crazy. Susan with great difficulty says ‘Alex…..make love to me please, I need you inside me!’ Alex clearly turned on, rips Susan’s underwear from her body sending it soaring across the room. The couple increase their kissing and touching as Alex parts Susan’s legs and then slowly eases himself into her making her moan loudly calling out loudly ‘Oh my god Alex, oh my god!’ Alex gasping for air ‘Holy shit, I can’t believe this is happening!’ Susan panting again ‘oh it’s happening it’s really fucking happening!’ Susan cries out as Alex starts to increase his pace, driving himself deeper and deeper into her sending her wild. Alex concerned ‘Are you ok Susan?’ Susan in ecstasy ‘don’t stop, don’t you dare stop!’ Alex continues to make love to Susan as they both feel a massive build up inside of them; their hearts racing out of control as the world feels like it’s coming apart at the seams; the sweat steaming from their bodies. Alex feeling like he can’t take anymore ‘Susan, I don’t know if I can hold on much longer!’ Susan losing all control ‘Do it Alex, cum for me, do it now!’ Alex cries out as every one of his muscles tighten as his body reaches orgasm causing Susan to climax too!’ Alex and Susan cry out again as their bodies shake from head to toe. Alex and Susan wrap their arms around each other pulling them closer as their hearts start to slow to an even pace. Alex lifts his head to kiss Susan passionately once more as the lovers rest together in love. Alex whispers into Susan’s ear ‘I love you so much Susan! Susan smiling from ear to ear ‘I love you too Alex, you’re the man of my dreams; I’m so happy I feel like my heart is going to burst!’ Alex and Susan lie for a while before getting up from the sofa, gathering their clothes and then make their way up to bed where they cannot stop themselves from starting all over again. As they make love once more the unexplainable connection between them intensifies as the two become one, moving in a steady rhythmic motion. Alex and Susan have never felt more in love as they create a strong physical bond between them.

A Symphony of Sorrow - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – The Discovery

As the sun climbed higher into the sky, the birds started to sing their morning songs. Alex and Susan awoke from a very peaceful sleep to the sound of Aimee’s voice ‘mummy, where are you?’ Susan and Alex both smiled at each other, kissed and then Susan said ‘I better go and see to the little monster!’ As Susan moved towards the door, she turned back to look at Alex and smiled saying ‘I’ll be back soon, why don’t you put the kettle on and we can have some breakfast?’ Alex smiled and nodded and then sat upright on the sofa. As he sat, he knew he felt different; the old morning grogginess that had been there his entire life was gone and he felt fantastic. Alex could hear Susan saying ‘sorry honey, mummy slept downstairs last night and I have a big surprise for you!’ Alex smiled as he got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen and then looked around to find the kettle. After putting the kettle on, Alex briefly looked out through the patio doors before walking back through the kitchen into the living room. On entering the living room, he could not help but notice the large blood stain that had soaked deep into the wooden floor. Alex was fixated as his mind drifted off into a violent flashback showing him the last few minutes of his life as he lay dying on the floor. Alex broke through the images bringing him quickly back into reality and then started to look for cigarettes which he found on top of the fireplace. After taking a cigarette and lighter, he turned out of the room and walked to the patio doors where he unlocked them and then stepped outside into the cold morning air. Alex sat down on the garden bench and then put the cigarette into his mouth and then lit it. As he smoked the cigarette, he noticed that it tasted totally different from usual and he couldn’t understand what the attraction had been all these years. Alex looked up at the sky and for the first time ever, he could stare right into the heart of the sun without causing any damage to his eyes. Alex was confused; after putting out the cigarette he then walked back into the house again, moving back into the living room where he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror noticing that he was only wearing a fleece covering his delicate areas and then it dawned on him ‘I am pretty much naked!’ Susan shouted down the stairs ‘you ok Alex?’ Alex looked back into the mirror again and then said ‘Susan, would you have a bathrobe that I could borrow as I’m not exactly dressed for company and I don’t really have an abundance of clothes right now?’ Susan laughed and said ‘no problem, I’ll throw it down to you!’ Alex walked to the bottom of the stairs and said ‘please don’t make it pink!’ Susan then threw the bathrobe down which to Alex’s horror, turned out to be pink. ‘Thanks,’ said Alex in a slightly sarcastic tone, walking away from the stairs while slipping it on to help hide his flesh. Alex walked back into the kitchen and stood at the patio doors looking out onto the garden, the empty feeling that he once felt in his heart had subsided only to be replaced by a serenity which calmed his soul. As Alex thought back to the life that he once had; he fondly remembered the happier moments and he felt a flutter in his heart…..recalling the loving warmth of his parents and grandparents, the summers spent with his younger brother on the mountains near his family home and the overwhelming joy he felt when he remembered playing with his family pets. Alex stepped outside once more and stood on the cold ground; he closed his eyes and then instantly, he could feel the world around him; the birth of new born babies, the sorrow felt by the loss of a loved one and even the flow of the rivers as they ran downwards into the seas. Alex’s heart was more alive than anything he had ever experienced before and he then knew that a major change has occurred within him; something unexplainable, something powerful, its limitations, who knows? Susan walked into the kitchen with Aimee by her side and then stood in amazement as they watched how Alex was standing with his arms out in the shape of a cross, surrounded by hundreds of birds and insects flying in a circular motion around him. Susan knew then that the man whom she loved was far from ordinary and that he now possessed a power that no one could even begin to comprehend. Aimee’s eyes were bright with excitement as she watched all the little creatures in flight in her garden; swooping up and down and around in unison as if they were beautiful foaming waves crashing onto the rocks on a spanning coast line. Alex opened his eyes and then lowered his arms down by his sides as he turned and smiled at Susan and Aimee. As Alex walked towards the house, the insects and birds swooped down and then flew off high into the sky. Susan was speechless; her mind in wonderment. Alex walked inside and said ‘well you don’t see that everyday now do you?’ Aimee full of excitement said ‘Mummy how did the man do that?’ Alex shrugged his shoulders with an innocent look on his face. Susan said ‘do you fancy some breakfast?’ As Susan turned and started to prepare breakfast, Alex knew that he owed it to Susan to give some sort of explanation to her but was completely dumbfounded himself. Over breakfast, Alex, Susan and Aimee all laughed together as if they were a happy little family. Alex was great with voices and impersonations and was able to keep Aimee amused while Susan sat sipping her milky coffee, her eyes fixated on Alex as he and Aimee played. Susan felt content knowing that Alex was good with children even though he had none of his own; she thought to herself ‘Having Alex around will be good for Aimee as her own father is a fuck up and would serve no real purpose being part of her life.’ After breakfast, Alex insisted on washing the dishes and tidying up; something Susan was definitely not used to being a single mum and having a waste of space as a husband before that. Susan got up from the table and lifted Aimee down onto the floor ‘Go play with your wee toys honey while mummy helps her friend,’ she said. Alex finished cleaning up and then turned to face Susan, placing his back against the kitchen worktop; he smiled and then said ‘this is surreal isn’t it?’ Susan smiled back whilst nervously playing with her hair; Alex’s eyes were slightly unnerving but in a good way; ‘I know!’ She said. Susan laughed and then said ‘I don’t know if this is some sort of dream or whether to believe that having you here with me is real, it’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?’ Alex watched as a single tear fell from Susan’s face, running down her perfect cheek bone onto her cheek and then down to her jaw. Alex moved forward to Susan and then took her in her arms as he attempted to ease her insecurities ‘Listen, I know that this is one crazy situation and that me being here shouldn’t really be possible but I can tell you this, I’m real, I’m flesh and blood and I’m so in love with you, so much so that I will never let anything or anyone come between us ever again!’ Susan eased her head onto Alex’s chest as he held her close and as she listened to his heart and could feel his warmth…..she knew that he was real. Alex petted Susan’s hair with his right hand saying ‘Do you know what Susan; I really really want to kiss you right now!’ Susan smiled and then looked up at Alex saying ‘That would be really nice!’ Both Susan and Alex smiled happily at each other and then with time slowing to a dream like speed, moved their faces closer to each other embracing in a long passionate kiss, hearts racing, nerve endings super sensitive and then for Susan, a floating feeling again as Alex lifted her over a foot from the floor as he displayed his unending love for her. Susan felt safe as Alex held her in his strong arms and Alex didn’t even break a sweat. Alex always knew that he was strong but somehow through his unexplainable resurrection, had increased his strength and speed. Alex lowered Susan gently onto the floor again and then said ‘I’m gonna need some clothes I think, as much as your bathrobe is comfortable and warm, I just don’t think that the colour goes with my eyes!’ Susan giggled and then said ‘I’ll borrow something from my brother to allow us to go shopping, if that’s ok?’ Alex agreed and he watched as Susan went to the fireplace and lifted her cigarettes and lighter, speaking to Aimee along the way. Susan on her way back, leaned into Alex and gave him a cheeky smile and a small peck on the lips saying ‘I need a smoke Alex to help me keep my hands off you!’ Alex smiled and then said ‘Do you mind if I have an ice bath, it’s going to take something extreme to tame my beast!’ Susan and Alex went out to the back garden where Susan enjoyed a cigarette and as they sat together, the topic of the conversation was the future. The morning was cold outside but neither Susan nor Alex could notice as a warm conversation with the person they loved, kept them warm until they returned indoors.