A Symphony of Sorrow

Chapter 12 – Susan’s Inner Monologue (One year previous)

How did we end up here?  You used to be so strong, protective, sexy and loving.  You were my gentleman, so mannerly, courteous and interesting in every way and yet somewhere along the way you diminished my respect for you.  At first I thought the drink was to blame and still I loved you.  The frequency of bad events increased, more and more until one night I saw you for what you really are...a monster.  I believe that half of you loved me while the other half despised me.  At that point, the love in me retracted and all that I was left with was an overweight drunk of a man.  I tried so hard to keep my already flagging emotions going but we became mannerly and complacent during the day.  I was always more than aware that the night time, would be a different story.  At night we would sit aimlessly watching garbage on the TV, drinking when I didn’t want to; wanting to go to bed to sleep without the pressure of sex, but you forced yourself on me, your foul cock inside me, crushing me under your heavy body while smelling your stench.  I don’t find you sexually attractive anymore.  When I asked you not to grope me while we were hugging, you ignored me and treated me like a piece of meat.  You reminded me of a dirty old man touching someone up.  You should have understood that a hug is a hug and a grope is a grope.  You don’t show me any respect when you’re supposed to be hugging me and you slip a hand....I’m supposed to be your wife, not some cheap skanky whore.  Every day the mental torture has gotten worse with you expecting sex from me every day of the week...its ok for you because you lounge around the house all day;  I work all day, so did you never stop and think that maybe I was tired and just wanted sleep.  I’ve found now that I couldn’t, wouldn’t feel aroused by you and have tried to avoid sex with you as much as possible, even if I had been drinking...I was still repulsed by you.  I can’t even look at you anymore, because I see the real you; a hard, course, stubborn, self important, pathetic, unmanly, arrogant, temperamental, false bastard....I hate you.  No matter what tragedy befalls you, it’s always my fault.  You’re not my lover, you’re not my friend and you’re not my husband.

Where are you my dream lover?  Have you ever noticed that no matter when you deliver to me...I am always here waiting for you?  I wait for you to arrive, my heart racing...my disappointment if you don’t.  I look at you with love in my eyes but you don’t notice me.  Am I not attractive enough for you, has he stolen that from me along with the rest.  I change my hair for you, I put on makeup, short skirts and flirt like mad with you but still you don’t notice me.  What will it take?  I know you are married and I feel bad about that; but I know you are not happy, because I see the pain in your eyes...you cannot hide it from me.  You are so deep and try so hard to hide your anguish, but I see it and I want to help you so badly and yet, you won’t let me in.  I would give myself over to you, body and soul, to make you happy.  At night, I think about you...a gentle touch with those rough hands, your smile right before you kiss me.....I crave you.  I touch myself when I fantasise about you; imagining that you are between my legs, making love to me....oh god, why do we always want what we cannot have?  I wonder did you notice when I went to my parents place in Italy, did you miss talking to me?  I was gone for three weeks.  I hoped that not seeing you would ease my cravings; that somehow, a change of scenery would distract me from thinking about you...I only missed you more.  I need you; can’t you see that.  You are everything that he is not.  I pray at night that god will see both of us, know that we are meant for each other and then give you a gentle nudge, something that would make you come to me so that we can be together.  I must be insane for believing that you would feel the same way about me.  You must have lots of admirers who stand at their doors flirting with you; probably better looking ones than me...that wouldn’t be hard.  Do you ever think about me when you’re in the depths of your despair?  Probably not!  I’m not going to give up on you...even if it means running the risk of rejection; I’ll do whatever it takes.

A Symphony of Sorrow

Chapter 13 – Intimacy

Susan and Alex are lying in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms.  Susan looks up at Alex and asks ‘tell me this Alex; what really turns you on?’  Alex looks surprised ‘I think you know!’  Susan slaps his arm and asks ‘do you want to elaborate?’  Alex laughs, breathes in and then responds with ‘you of course....I can’t keep my hands off you!’  Susan smiles, turns away slightly and then asks ‘what I meant was, do you have any fetishes; kinky things or anything like that?’  Alex laughs harder ‘is this a test?  Susan laughs out loud, slapping him at the same time ‘no...I just want you to be honest with me....if there’s something specific, and it’s not too weird...I would do it to please you!’  Alex by this stage is laughing hard ‘I thought that you already enjoyed our sex life...I know I do...you’re amazing in bed, the kitchen, the living room and anywhere else!  Susan giggles ‘let’s get something clear; I’ve never had orgasms with anyone the way I do with you, not forgetting multiple orgasms, but I feel that I’m getting more out of it than you are...you are a really attentive lover!’  Alex smiles ‘I have no complaints whatsoever; you are the most amazing lover I have ever had and furthermore; when I cum....I feel like my head is going to explode!’  Susan still enquiring ‘there must me something that I can do for you though....be honest with me!’  Alex rubs the stubble on his chin, taking his time ‘well there is one thing....it’s probably something stupid really; but I’ve always had a thing for women in Black leather knee boots, thigh boots....that sort of thing!’  Susan laughs ‘Is that it, that’s not stupid....they are very sexy and I love the way my boots make me feel when I wear them!’  Alex looks down at Susan with a big smile on his face ‘you have boots?’  Susan smiles and then jumps out of bed ‘hang on....you’re going to like this collection!’  Alex feels himself instantly getting aroused ‘oh shit, something is happening, down below!’  Susan slides open a drawer from beneath her bed and places it onto the bed.  The drawer contains eight pairs of boots....all leather; some thigh high, some knee high; all of them have stiletto heels and pointed toes, just the way Alex likes them.  Susan takes out a pair of thigh high boots, turns so that she can sit on the bed, places her left foot into a boot and then starts to slowly zip the boots closed.  Alex is very excited and he cannot hide it.  Susan turns to him ‘play with yourself while I get ready!’  Alex immediately follows her command and pushes the duvet off, exposing himself.  As Alex masturbates while watching Susan walking naked across the room to a chest of drawers; he notices just how unbelievably sexy she looks in her boots, her perfect body right before his eyes.  Susan turns around with a pair of handcuffs in her right hand ‘you better not cum....save it for me!’  Alex laughs ‘or what?’  Susan seductively walks back to Alex ‘I’ll have you begging me to let you cum!’  Alex laughs again ‘you are blowing my mind!’  Susan smiles, climbs onto the bed, straddling Alex; grabs his hands, placing the handcuffs onto his wrists.  Alex giggling ‘I’m starting to get worried here!’  Susan secures Alex’s hands to the headboard using the handcuffs ‘this is where I’m gonna make you beg!’  Alex leans forward to kiss her as Susan moves her face away, preventing him from kissing her.  Alex looks disappointed ‘come on....please!’  Susan smiles and then moves herself down the bed, positioning her head above his groin.  Alex feels more turned on than he has ever felt before, when Susan slowly places her lips around his hard cock, performing oral sex.  Alex gasps, crying out ‘Jesus Christ Susan....holy shit!’  Susan continues sucking and licking Alex’s cock, driving him crazy while he squirms around on the bed.  Alex can feel himself growing close to orgasm and Susan senses it.  She quickly grabs the bottom of his shaft, squeezing it tightly to prevent him from cumming.  Alex cries out ‘no.....no; I need to cum!’  Susan laughs ‘you’ll cum when I let you cum, and not before!’  Susan continues sucking his cock, bringing Alex closer and closer to orgasm again when once again she stops him.  Alex cannot take anymore and begs Susan to let him cum once again.  Susan looking serious ‘only when I say you can!’  Susan moves up the bed slowly so that she can straddle Alex, hovering just above his hard cock ‘Tell me you want to be inside me!’  Alex suffering ‘I want to be inside you; please....I need to cum!’  Susan smiles once more and then starts to lower herself onto his cock, allowing only the head to penetrate her. Alex cries out again ‘more, I need more!’  Susan complies; slowly sliding herself down so that Alex penetrates her more and more until his full length is inside of her.  Susan cries out ‘fuck Alex....I can’t believe how hard you are!’  Alex on the verge of exploding ‘please let me cum, please!’  Susan smiles and then starts to move herself up and down, faster and faster, her breathing changing as she feels herself losing control.  Alex starts to thrust his pelvis upwards from the bed so that he can penetrate Susan, harder and deeper when suddenly, the chain on the headboard breaks.  Susan cries out ‘fuck me Alex, fuck me hard!’  Alex grabs Susan’s bum, lifting her from the bed while he is still inside her, runs her across the room to the nearest wall, where he pins her against the wall, her boot covered legs wrapped around him as he fucks her up the wall.  Susan screams an earth shattering scream as Alex pounds himself inside of her as they both near orgasm.  Alex panting ‘I’m gonna cum right now!’  Susan cries out ‘Do it, cum inside me!’  Alex cums hard inside of her, continuing to fuck her until both of them cry out together and then start to slowly slide down the wall onto the carpet below.  Several minutes pass before Susan asks ‘well.....how was that for you?  Alex still panting ‘words cannot describe what just happened....I’ve never cum so hard my entire life!’  Susan smiles through her panting ‘you’re welcome!’